LOOKING FOR WORKERS

ORIGINAL AD
I'm looking for some people to recarpet my house, and apply new shingles to the roof. I'll need them for about 10 hours, expect less than minimum wage. Great job for illegals. Contact through the email provided by ##########

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Hola! I saw your advertisment offering work to people in need! I'm glad to hear that it's less than minimum, because these new laws are compete garbage. In fact, people are lucky to even get paid for their work towards your house! Please email me back the hours, thanks in advance.
-Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Look punk, if you're fucking with me then screw off

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

No man. I need the work, and I'm straight. I wouldn't ever do that. I have a swimming suit if you'd like me to act as your Puerto Rican pool boy though. What days did you need the work done?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

I still feel like your being sarcastic. Or an ass. But whatever.. I'll need you in 5 days. I've just gotta find more workers tho.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

No, I am human sir. Sarcasm might make up the personalities of some people, but I'd consider myself more of a pawn in the neverending game of chess called life. I am just an honest man looking for honest work to support my family of eight. I guess this isn't honest work, since it's a federal offense to go below minimum wage, but it's work, and my family needs food nonetheless!
Regards, Jordan

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

I realize it's against the law but for illegal workers, it's money they wouldn't of had.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Oh alright, I understand now. I did some searching, and a few of my buddies are willing to work for you! All of us are legal citizens though, since none of us are really that into getting in trouble with the federal government. Three of them will work for $4 an hour, one will go for $3/hour, and I've got six friends that'll pay you $5 an hour if you let them work for you.
Thanks!
Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

What the fuck why would they pay me, they will be working on my house

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Oh I know, but they were so enthusiastic to finally find work! And when I told them to expect less than minimum, they became so concerned with showing their dedication, that they told me to send your their possibilities!
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Uh okaaaay. whatever man. if u dont want work i wont give you work

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

:'(
But I want work.

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Fine. Two days left till I need you guys.
My address is ### Swan Drive, Nampa, ID

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Okay, but now that I think about it, I found 349 other postings in the jobsearch section, and not one of them pays below minimum wage. Also, none of them allow their employees to pay THEM.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Did you egg my house last night you dumb bitch ass punk?

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

No, I am a mammal, and mammals don't even lay eggs. Also, I'm a human; as said above. Humans don't typically lay eggs either.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Fuck you I can find other workers
Periods are females releasing eggs dipshit

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Oh god, you totally went there.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Screw you


*****POSTERS NOTE*****
It wasn't even me that egged his house, I just went with it to antagonize.