11/29/2010

Order 09843

*NOTE*
This was a random email I received from someone I have never talked to before. I tried being the nice guy!

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

Instead of three cultures, I want four now due to a friend changing her mind. Thanks.
Beth

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

I think you've emailed the wrong person.. Sorry

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

This was the email address you gave me...

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

I have never been in contact with you before, I don't even have any idea as to what you're talking about.

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

Well excuse me, but I was given this email address! I can't help it if the mistake isn't on my end!!!

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

I'm not angry, I'm just trying to be helpful. Are you sure that you read the email right?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

No, you were tring to make me feel bad about it by being a jerk! YES I got the email right, I copied&pasted it!

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

Turns out, I have your cultures. Would you like to answer a few questions before shipment?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

No just send the cultures

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

If you could pick one of your fondest memories, what would you say it is, and why? How has it impacted you throughtout your life? How did it impact you when it initially occured?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

I said no

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

Who is your best friend, and how have they helped you through life? How did you meet? Was he/her there for you when you were in a slump?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

What the fuck send me my order

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

Ma'am please answer the questions, so I can process your order more efficiently. Our company now requires a government-issued survery in order to study mass population.
What was your first pet? How old were you? Do you have good memories with this pet? List one.

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

My first pet was a snake. It was just a corn snake that my uncle got me, but I didn't like to hold it because I thought it would make me sick. I don't have good memories with it, hardly any. One would be when it bit my brother though.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

Thank you for your time, we need a few more questions answered.
Do you find yourself gullable? Do you readily trust new people that you meet? Would you say that you are vulnerable?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

I'm not gullable. I trust people, unless they give me a reason not to. Vulnerable? LOL no.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

How long does it typically take you to trust someone? Do you consider yourself argumentative? Hostile?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

I trust from the very beginning, until I'm given a reason not to. I usually submit in argument. I'm more friendly than I am hostile. Are we almost done?

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

So you would trust a stranger with minor facts or bits of information?
Yes Ma'am, we are nearly done I believe.
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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

Yes, I'd probably trust her with just typical conversation..

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

If you emailed someone, asking to add an additional 'culture' of something, and they replied by telling you that you had the wrong address, you would believe them?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

What the fuck!?

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Order 009843

I don't know you.

11/08/2010

LOOKING FOR WORKERS

ORIGINAL AD
I'm looking for some people to recarpet my house, and apply new shingles to the roof. I'll need them for about 10 hours, expect less than minimum wage. Great job for illegals. Contact through the email provided by ##########

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Hola! I saw your advertisment offering work to people in need! I'm glad to hear that it's less than minimum, because these new laws are compete garbage. In fact, people are lucky to even get paid for their work towards your house! Please email me back the hours, thanks in advance.
-Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Look punk, if you're fucking with me then screw off

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

No man. I need the work, and I'm straight. I wouldn't ever do that. I have a swimming suit if you'd like me to act as your Puerto Rican pool boy though. What days did you need the work done?

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

I still feel like your being sarcastic. Or an ass. But whatever.. I'll need you in 5 days. I've just gotta find more workers tho.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

No, I am human sir. Sarcasm might make up the personalities of some people, but I'd consider myself more of a pawn in the neverending game of chess called life. I am just an honest man looking for honest work to support my family of eight. I guess this isn't honest work, since it's a federal offense to go below minimum wage, but it's work, and my family needs food nonetheless!
Regards, Jordan

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

I realize it's against the law but for illegal workers, it's money they wouldn't of had.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Oh alright, I understand now. I did some searching, and a few of my buddies are willing to work for you! All of us are legal citizens though, since none of us are really that into getting in trouble with the federal government. Three of them will work for $4 an hour, one will go for $3/hour, and I've got six friends that'll pay you $5 an hour if you let them work for you.
Thanks!
Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

What the fuck why would they pay me, they will be working on my house

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Oh I know, but they were so enthusiastic to finally find work! And when I told them to expect less than minimum, they became so concerned with showing their dedication, that they told me to send your their possibilities!
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Uh okaaaay. whatever man. if u dont want work i wont give you work

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

:'(
But I want work.

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Fine. Two days left till I need you guys.
My address is ### Swan Drive, Nampa, ID

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Okay, but now that I think about it, I found 349 other postings in the jobsearch section, and not one of them pays below minimum wage. Also, none of them allow their employees to pay THEM.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Did you egg my house last night you dumb bitch ass punk?

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

No, I am a mammal, and mammals don't even lay eggs. Also, I'm a human; as said above. Humans don't typically lay eggs either.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Fuck you I can find other workers
Periods are females releasing eggs dipshit

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Oh god, you totally went there.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: I'M A WORKER!

Screw you


*****POSTERS NOTE*****
It wasn't even me that egged his house, I just went with it to antagonize.