Cheap bird!

ORIGINAL AD:
Hey everyone! I've just recently started searching for a pet bird, I'm willing to take most kinds! I just need noise in my home, parrots are preffered. Thanks!
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject:Cheap Bird!

Hi! I have a bird that I'll let you take off my hands for a rehoming fee of $25. Their actual worth is quite considerable, but this one more or less landed in my arms, and I know nothing of birds! It's red, and it makes a lot of noise.
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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Awesome! Would you take $20? Have you looked it up? It could be a macaw! I love those birds! They require a lot of work, and you are right, they are very expensive. I have done lots of research and I am ready to take one on though!
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Yes! I just looked it up and it does look pretty similar to that. It's a little smaller and its beak is kind of pointy though.
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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Hm. That sounds like a canary kind of. Which of these does it look like?



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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

It looks like those two had a baby and this is the baby!
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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

hmm.. I'm not sure what bird you have. Do you have a picture?

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

I took a picture of him in a tree from last week, and I drew a picture of what he would look like if he was wild and brown.




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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

I can't tell if you're being serious.. In the first picture, I can see absolutely nothing, and in the 2nd... that's just ridiculous.
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Sorry I will take a better picture once I can catch him.
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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

haha okay..


[2 days later]


To:Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Hey, I was just wondering if you have managed to get a picture of the bird yet...?
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Hey! I'll get one soon, I finally caught him, he's been in my garage this whole time!
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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

It's been in the high 90's this week, that's probably not a good idea.. When can I stop by?
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Got a pic!


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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Are you fucking kidding me? That's a wild robin, I don't want that. I wanted a pet, moron.
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Sorry, I'll let him go for $10 since you didn't want him. It's a steal.
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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

I said I don't want that bird.
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Thanks a lot jerk, he kept flying around the cage and now look. I fed him a whole bunch of ants and he wouldnt eat them because he probably just wanted to be loved.


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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

I'm reporting you!
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

It's too late, I already reported you! This is your fault! You owe me $10!!
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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird

Quit emailing me.
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!


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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Cheap Bird!

Fuck off. It's a fucking robin.

HEY BABY

ORIGINAL AD:
Strictly Platonic
Is there anything to do in this town this hotel room is boring and i have to look at it all week. I wnt a girl to hang out with 4 while I'm here in Boise
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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject:HEY HONEY

HEY BABY

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

pic4pic?

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject:HEY HONEY

SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND GO FIND SOMEONE LIKE A REAL MAN, WHAT ARE YOU? SUCK ON THESE, GAY BOY!

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

Wat the fuck are u talking about, i'm finding a girl right now queer thats why I posted on ########## bitch

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject:HEY HONEY

LIKE OMG, YOU MUST NOT EVEN TALK TO GIRLS, HAVE YOU EVER EVEN SEEN A BOOB? YOU MUST HAVE A GOOD TIME IN THE MENS LOCKER ROOM, HUH? YOU STUPID BUTT.

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

Man ive seen more tits then you could handle. are u like 12 or something? u just called me a butt and thot it was gonna hurt my feelings.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject:HEY HONEY

Whatevs man, I can play Call of Duty all day and still pick up women by the truckloads. You, on the other hand- You're just a buttloving boy kisser. Do you ask to feel muscles when you're at the gym? you stupid penisvagina, you're just a big dumb and I hate you.

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

Wow dude you come up wwith stupid names. u are probably the gay kid here

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject:HEY HONEY

Dude I be rollin' on solid gold rims, and I've got teeth of platinum. You're just a big stupid dumb idiot and you like butts so whatever you say is just stupid since you haven't ever even talked to a girl in your life.

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

How old r u kid. Im in boise so step up

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From: Claudia Ibarra
Subject: Read asap

**SENT FROM A DIFFERENT EMAIL ADDRESS**
Hey sir, I'm sorry about the boy emailing you, he is my son. I had no idea he was talking to you, and I went through his email and saw that he's been doing it to a lot of people. I've disconnected his computer. It's in my garage, and his mouse and keyboard are hidden in my room.
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To: Claudia Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

k i was wondering if he was a kid. my dad would have kicked my ass if i did that shit so make sure he stops.

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From: Claudia Ibarra
Subject:HEY HONEY

It would happen if his father was around still, I'm a single mother. I work at a bar to keep our bills paid.

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To: Claudia Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

o sorry to hear it wat bar? i dont know what else to do in boise.

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From: Claudia Ibarra
Subject:HEY HONEY

Are you asking to meet up? That's such a boykisser move of you.

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To: Claudia Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

well maybe we could have a few drinks or blow some rings. Y do you both call dumb names like that?

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From: Claudia Ibarra
Subject:HEY HONEY


Honey, we call names because that's the way we feel. Seriously sir, I am willing to lay down a $100 bill in order to bet that you ask men if you can feel their muscles, and you probably enjoy looking at butts and penises while you're in locker rooms.

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To: Claudia Ibarra
Subject: RE:HEY HONEY

fuck u too, both of you