Rideshare

ORIGINAL AD
Hey, I'm driving up to Moutain Home on Thursday, just wondering if anyone else wanted a ride over there. You can chip money in for gas, or you don't need to if you don't wanna. My car sits two comfortably, four uncomfortably. Only room for one as we need the backseat for luggage.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: Rideshare?

Hey there, saw your ad for a rideshare, and that sounds like fun! Still have room?
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Yep, I've got room still. are you male or female? I'm a male, but i'm a pretty quiet guy for the most part. I'm 26, and my name is #### ##########. Um.. I work at a beef plant, and I don't have a family or relatinoship. You?

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Sounds good to me! I'm a male as well. I'm eighty four years old. I'm not married because I prefer the single life. I enjoy swinging around from woman to woman. I don't need a job, because that's boring and lame. I'm not sure if I have a family. There's probably five or six of my children running around somewhere.
Anyways, my luggage consists of a suitcase, a backpack, and a painting depicting a bunch of people tangled up with eachother. We have room for this, right?
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

LOL nice lifestyle, way to stay free. That sounds like it'll fit, but why are you bringing a painting with you? How big is it? I'm not giving a ride to a bum am I?

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

How many bums do you know that can have constant access to a computer? They don't allow me in the library anymore after I tried stabbing a man for stealing a book I was looking at.
The painting was given to me by my wife, probably because she loves me. It's not TOO big. It's 36 inches long, 24 wide, and an inch thick.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

You tried stabbing a man? Are you a crazy guy or something? You told me you weren't married..? That's a huge painting!

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Well he had tried stealing a book I might've been interested in! I am not married, I think that you misunderstood me.
I'm excited for our trip, we're gonna be just like Lewis and Clark! Just to update you, I traded my backpack for a kitten, but I haven't got a kennel to keep it in. So I invited one of my friends to come along, and he'll hold it the whole time.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Dude.. I haven't got room for other people, and now we're taking a kitten? I hope the guy can handle having a few bags on his lap. Also, he won't have room for any luggage.


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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Yeah, the kitten is really cute. I was gonna get one for you too, but I remembered you complained about mine, so I didn't get one. That's because I'm considerate.
I told Frank (my friend) that you said it was alright that he came but he'd have to deal with bags on his lap. Turns out, there are a lot of people who would deal with a little discomfort in exchange for a free ride. Our third friend Scott is also going to come with us. He's really small though, so I wouldn't be that concerned. The only issue that I foresee is the fact that he's got a small terrior, and that dog HATES cats.
Regards!

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To:Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Really? Just REALLY? I drive a sports car, which barely fits more than two people. We're taking you, with all of your luggage, me with all of my luggage, a 3 foot PAINTING, a cat, a terrior, and two other guys. The only issue you see is the dog and cat fighting? You are crazy. CRAZY MAN! You are a crazy man. Crazy crazy crazy.

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Dear John,
YOUR MOM IS CRAZY!
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

My name isn't even John! I haven't got room for you anymore, this is all ridiculous

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Well I told Frank that you said he wasn't small enough to fit in the car, and I told Scott that you showed no compassion towards the fact that the medical treatment he needed was in Mountain Home. They're both pretty mad and want to know where you live. We can use MapQuest, so all you need to provide is your address.
Regards, Jordan

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

What the hell I never said that stuff i'm not giving you my address or a ride, so FUCK OFF CRAZY

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From: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

Hey I got you a kitten, if you could just give me your address, I'll bring it by.
Thanks!

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To: Jordan Ibarra
Subject: RE:Rideshare?

I DONT WANT THE KITTEN, FUCK OFF I SAID